


In hell i'll be in good company

by a_pirate_on_the_left



Category: Coco (2017), Disney - All Media Types
Genre: Blasphemous, Ernesto is a jealous hoe, I don't believe for a minute that ernesto murdered hector for his song, M/M, Religion, a little bit of internalized homophobia, ernesto's pov, i havent written in 3 years be kind, i would have lost my chance and regretted it for the rest of my life if i had done it differently, sorry i had to put a 'kneel and worship your god' double sense somewhere, you cant change my mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22779190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_pirate_on_the_left/pseuds/a_pirate_on_the_left
Summary: It's a question of survival, everybody needs something or someone to believe in, for Ernesto the choices were growing thinner.No god above, no Man next to him in his bed. Ernesto had to find something else to believe in; but for that unholy night he was left alone with his sins to bury.Literally.
Relationships: Ernesto De La Cruz & Héctor Rivera, Ernesto De La Cruz/Héctor Rivera, Héctor Rivera/Imelda Rivera
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	In hell i'll be in good company

_\- - - - - - - - - -_

_Was he really worth it?_ Ernesto asked himself once again.   
Some nights he just couldn't sleep, lying in bed felt like being suffocated, he had to take a break from himself and go for a walk.  
The floor was warm under his bare feet, summer was as caliente as the sun itself in Mexico.  
A shiver run down his backbone, reminding him how much he already missed the warmth of Hector's bed.  
Years and years came and went by since the first time the two held each other for the first time, but the question in Ernesto's mind never changed.

_His own soul doomed to spend the eternity in hell, because he was too weak to check his desires, because he couldn't stop loving a man._

Of course none of it mattered when they were just teens discovering themselves for the first time.  
It wouldn't matter even the time they got caught together and they got whipped by the pastor of the orphanage. 

Hector never cared, and as long as Ernesto were with him he felt invulnerable as well. 

But one day something in Ernesto faltered: Hector believed in the old idea of the After Life where the dead lived together. Ernesto on the other hand took the christianity lessons to his heart.

They lived their love in very different ways.  
For Hector there were no sins, no infierno and no pain.  
Ernesto instead asked himself the same question over and over and over again.  
 _Was loving a man, **this man** , worth the torture of hell for the rest of time, till kingdom comes?_

  
He found his own deity. His worship gifted Ernesto songs, poetry and love.  
More than any god had ever gave him. In exchange he would kneel and pray, and accept His body in his mouth. 

_Yes, a thousand times yes._

That night ended like every other night before.   
Ernesto would curl up back in the arms of his night-time lover, fall asleep safe from both the human and divine judgement. He would sleep till the morning, when Hector would wake him, they'd get dressed and ready for the day. Once again pretending for the world that they would have rather cut off their hands than caress one another.  
  
 _Even then it was worth it._  
Even when Hector would leave their room to rush to the closest Post Office to send letters to his wife. Even when he was gone he was worth Ernesto' soul. 

Every time Hector left, Ernesto's question would float back to his mind.   
Was hell worth a man who would leave him for another lover when he could?  
  
But Ernesto was already drowning in that sea to be able to swim back to the shore.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

  
_Was he really worth it?_ The question came back unexpectedly this time, hitting Ernesto on the back on his head.  
Glued on his sweaty skin the sand was cold that autumn night.  
He trembled for the effort he was going through. His hands already screaming in pain, he feared he wouldn't be able to play for at least a week.

_Well.. Hector costed him his alma when he was alive, now that he was dead.._ Now that he murdered him, there was nothing else Ernesto could give him.  
Hector doomed him both in life and death.  
Ernesto knew he would end defeated anyway.   
Hector betrayed him, nothing would have changed his unfaithful mind.  
  
What do you do to the god that turns his back on you, no matter your pleas and your prayers?

It's a question of survival, everybody needs something or someone to believe in, for Ernesto the choices were growing thinner.  
No god above, no Man next to him in his bed. Ernesto had to find something else to believe in; but for that unholy night he was left alone with his sins to bury. 

Literally.


End file.
